Obstacles To Forgiveness

When exploring forgiveness I came across some very interesting research which highlighted the many barriers that prevent us from truly forgiving. Fighting to make sure that guilt, shame, bitterness and resentment do not consume you is only half of the battle. For many of us reconciliation with the Most High Creator God can be difficult, even after confession. Some of us can recite scripture from memory such as 1 John 1:19 , which says; “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness”. But, even though we know Christ’s death atoned for our sins, some still feel stained and unworthy inside. That darkness from the things they have done can hover around them, walking before them and weighing them down, affecting their social interactions. We as believers need to identify these tools of the adversary so that they do not interfere with our process of ultimate heart change. Spiritual transformation into the person that the Most High wants us to be, as members of His kingdom. So the next few blog’s will focus on a few obstacles to forgiveness.

Let’s begin with obstacle #1; “I can’t forgive myself for what I have done”. Many of us feel that the grace and mercy of Christ has let them off the hook for their immorality, lapses in judgement and/or wrongdoings, a bit too easily. But, contrary to popular belief, this mindset is not justifiable for the believer in the Most High Creator God and His holy word. When one refuses to forgive themselves, they are in essence positioning themselves and their level of discernment above that of the Most High Creator God. If you are feeling like you cannot forgive yourself, I challenge you to reflect on this question; “What right do I as a mere mortal have to hang on to past mistakes when the Creator of the Universe has already let them go. Critically unpacking scripture you will find that it does not convey the premise that we must forgive ourselves. It is actually the morally justifiable responsibility of the individual who has been wronged to bestow forgiveness on the person who has wronged them. Once this gift of forgiveness is imparted, the offender is to accept it freely. Since God is the one who, has been wronged, it is His choice to forgive or not. The Most High wants to forgive us so much that He sent Christ to be the ultimate sacrifice, so that we can be forgiven. Once we are forgiven our sins are gone. Micah 7:19 states “ He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us; he will subdue our iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea”. If the Creator can forgive you, you can forgive you.

Forgiveness

As believers many of us may struggle with the ability to forgive those who deeply hurt us in silence. Many caring kind-hearted individuals trying to pattern our lives after Christ, can come to feel as though we are trapped in an endless cycle of total insanity, forgiving those who wrong us over and over and over again. As followers of the Holy Hebrew Bible, are we supposed to be martyrs? Are we supposed to expose ourselves to constant criticism, belittlement, disrespect and emotional violence? Are we supposed forgive and forget, leaving ourselves open to the wicked, totally unprotected? One important component of forgiveness involves the release from bondage and the penalty associated with it. When we ask for forgiveness from our Heavenly Father it is because we are acknowledging the mistake that we have made, requesting mercy and pleading for release from the penalty of what we have done. Knowing we can be freed from the bondage of guilt, shame and regret because of the sacrifice of Christ, our Saviour and Messiah. If someone is continuously hurting another person one can assume that they are oblivious to the emotional mayhem and devastation that their thoughtless actions leave behind. So how can we release them from the bondage of what they have done to us, when they don’t even feel bad about it? We constantly hear verses such as Matthew 6:14-15 parroted on pulpits, “if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you” and Luke 6:27, “… love your enemies, do good to those who hate you”. But our holy book counsels the Israelites about many other things, particularly involving the wicked. The prophet Jeremiah even said, “take care of being imposed upon, since “they” meaning the wicked, are given to lying and deceit”. He also said that we are not to easily believe what is said by certain individuals and we must keep ourselves from those who have evil communications because “evil communications corrupt good manners”. How can we follow these spiritual principles if we are just to give everyone a clean slate, forgetting their wickedness over and over and over again. As children of the Kingdom, we need to follow the whole Hebrew Bible, not just some of it. Yes! Of course we forgive because we have been admonished to do so by the Most High Creator God but, one thing our book doesn’t say is that we have be doormats, and that we must forget. I encourage you to give it a read.

Gratitude

Most of us do not realise how important the concept of being grateful really is. Gratitude can be described as acknowledgment, appreciativeness, grace, gratefulness, honour, indebtedness, praise, recognition, thankfulness and thanksgiving. Colossians 3:16 says, “let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. Strong's concordance gives us the word C H A R I S of which the short definition is grace, favour and kindness. Defined as “grace, as a gift or blessing brought to man by Christ. Gratitude is the foundation of good mental health, spirituality and self-development. The Hebrew term for gratitude is hikarat hatov, which means "recognising the good." Practicing gratitude means recognising the good that is already yours. If you've lost your job, but you still have your family and health, you have something to be grateful for. If you can't move around except for in a wheelchair but your mind is as sharp as ever, you have something to be grateful for. When you open up to the trait of gratitude, you will be able to better see clearly and accurately, how much good there is in your life. Gratitude affirms. Many of us tend to focus so heavily on the deficiencies in our lives that we barely perceive the good that counterbalances them. Now more so than ever as believers, we need to remember to focus on the blessings all around us that we tend to take for granted. When you live a life that is fuelled by and charged with gratitude, you have the ability to give thanks for anything and anyone who has benefited you, whether they meant to or not.The Most High Creator God’s word is filled with the concept of gratitude, all over it’s pages. Locating these gems of truth can be a simple and effective way of reminding yourself to practice gratitude so that you can reflect the soon coming Kingdom of the Most High Creator God.